Exodus 20: 12

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

This is the only commandment that comes with a promise. We didn’t just show up on this planet at this particular time. God chose a man and a woman to bring us forth. We are here because of our parents. We had no choice of who our parents were going to be as the All-Knowing God made that choice for us. Many are blessed with loving parents while many have no parents or have/had tough ones.

When we were babies and toddlers, our world was our parents. The delight of seeing them, being held close, smelling them and just being in their presence brought us immense joy and comfort. From about four till ten years, our parents were our super heroes. They were our joy-givers, toy-fixers, hurt-pacifiers, tear-wipers, and magic-performers. As we inched into our teen years, we began contending with them over trivial things. We began to think they are not smart enough for our generation and that we knew more than them. Come late teens and young adults, we concluded that we don’t need our parents any more. Definitely, we didn’t want them to make decisions for us, albeit we wanted their approval for all our choices and decisions.

As we became adults and started raising our own families, we begin to compare ourselves to our parents. We are who we are today because of our parents. Whether positive or negative, we have been shaped predominantly by our parents. When we have to make a decision, we wonder if our parents would agree. When we accomplish something, we wonder if our parents would be proud of us. Anything we do or think, our initial thoughts run towards our parents. It matters to us immensely that our parents are proud of us, approve of our decisions, and applaud and brag about our accomplishments. We place them on a pedestal that is highly esteemed. When it matters so much about what our parents think of us, why then don’t we give them the respect they deserve? We are eager for our boss’s approval, search for a teacher’s nod and appreciation of several others under whose authority we live our lives. We honor and respect them. However, when it comes to our parents, it must matter even more.

In the process, we fail to realize that our parents are also humans and are prone to making mistakes. Since we used to esteem them highly, we assume that they cannot make a mistake. One mistake or one unkind word shatters our faith in them. We say we forgive them for all the hurt they caused us but fail to forget. We dwell on those bitter moments far too long, share with anyone who is willing to listen and sympathize with us and prolong the misery. In doing so, we slowly erode the love, respect and honor we have for our parents with our own bitterness. Even when they are kind to us, and trying to help us, we tend to shun them. On the contrary, we assume they carry an agenda every time they speak lovingly to us.

The Bible clearly commands us to honor our parents so we may be blessed and live a long life. Are we honoring and respecting our parents superficially or with all our hearts? Is it so difficult to not only forgive but also forget every hurtful thing they might have inflicted on us? More often we are willing to forgive and forget others’ mistakes but not those who are closest to us, especially of our parents. We carry that burden for several years, allowing that hurt to gnaw on us, both mentally and spiritually. We go through life doing all the right things, being busy with God’s work, ministering and living godly lives. We seem to be running on a treadmill not prospering neither spiritually nor socially.

What we fail to recognize is there might be a particular sin in our lives that still lingers! We have failed to forgive and forget the mistakes our parents have committed towards us. Thereby, we have failed to honor them with the love and respect that they deserve. If we fail to love and honor our parents, we will certainly fail to love and honor God. The Bible warns us that we will be cursed if we fail to honor our parents. (Cursed is he who dishonors his father or mother. Deuteronomy 27: 16) Jesus warned His followers in Matthew 15: 4 – “For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death.’

Our parents sacrificed much to bring us up, kept us in comfort, provided food, clothing and shelter, best education that they could afford, taught us spiritual and moral values and much more. Our Heavenly Father sacrificed His only Son Jesus Christ on the cross, so we could eternally be with Him in His glory, and under His protection. We would be free from sin and shame, and enjoy every blessing that comes with obedience in this life and the next. What more parallelism do we need to understand this very important commandment!

If in life we are not progressing, discontented with life, wondering where we are heading, disgruntled over little issues, and not really enjoying God’s goodness and blessings, then we must consider this sin that may persist in our lives. We must seek God’s forgiveness as well as our parents’ if they are still living before it is too late. We must seek God’s help to forget as well. We must teach ourselves to love and honor our parents. Consider this: What if God gave us parents to test our devotion towards Him? If we could love and honor them with all our hearts who are physically in front of us, then we will love and honor an omnipresent God as well. Failing to do so, we have broken the greatest commandment of all.

Dearly beloved, let us seek the Holy Spirit’s help to give us the changed heart and strength to forgive and forget our parents’ mistakes. Let us learn to love and honor them with all our hearts for it is pleasing to God. Despite their failures, we must persist in loving and honoring them all the days of their lives. In doing so, we will be blessed. In doing so, our days will be prolonged. In doing so, we are setting a good example to the next generations. And in doing so, we are honoring God.